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A Kick to the Balls.

My guy friend asked me today
What do periods feel like?
Are they really a kick in the balls?
And I said no,
They’re much much worse.

Imagine your penis and testicles are inside your body
Imagine that it’s attached to a triangular organ big enough to hold a large apple.
It’s at the exact center of your body.
Now your body fully expects you to get pregnant.
It fastens down layers and layers of nice smooth bedding for the wee thing to live in for 3 whole weeks
It does it so thoroughly that it shouldn’t move for 9 months.

Now imagine that your body also had to make sure you loved whatever grew in your body. But you also had to have the anger to defend it and sadness to protect it. So your body stores these things in chemical bottles and sets them on a shelf for when they’re needed.

Now imagine you have two 3-5 pound ballsacks attached front and center on your torso.
Imagine that they are just filled with heavy rags of water.
Imagine that this all is pressured on a little circular bit of skin at the front. It’s also preparing by swelling and making sure that the nipple will be able to break in half to give milk.

Now imagine, after 3 weeks of the body lovingly preparing for the epic journey of baby bearing it learns - you have no bun in the oven.

Um, excuse me… What?

It then, in a hysterical rage commands the immediate dismantlement of its home grown nursery.
It throws all it’s little bottles out the window into the bloodstream.
That inside little organ has to contract so violently that is rips off layers and layers of baby bedding. Over and over and over and over.
And then expel it through a sensitive area at the base of the torso with blood and the dead baby egg out of spite.
That whole belly button down area gets swollen and painful.
The muscles in the ballsack breasts aren’t needed so they relax and put all that pressure in the little bit and the front with support.
The whole body doesn’t know what to make of this warfare of chemicals and bombs, so it does damage control. It makes you eat for the energy, it tries to balance out the chemicals by making you want food to counteract the effects. It makes you sedimentary until it knows what to do and or makes you seek heat to relax all the muscles. It seizes up muscles spastically and relaxes others hoping to help. It makes you lustful so you’ll seek male protection, and it makes you ill so you won’t go anywhere.
Since the body did so well it takes 4-8 days to finish the job. And 4-8 days of the body doing damage control.

So no, it’s not like a kick to the balls. It’s like you’re breaking up a sadistic cat fight, and they team up - kick you in the balls so you go down and then hurt you in lots of other creative ways too.

This happens every 3 weeks.

#bonniewild  #period  #menstration  #menstral cycle  #funny  

  1. oddball97 reblogged this from derpy-silly-stupid
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    Happy birthday to me
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  11. ashleejaynethorne reblogged this from bonniewilde and added:
    Finally explained perfect 👌
  12. waterkitten0107 reblogged this from bonniewilde and added:
    Basically the best explanation to a guy about a period I’ve ever heard. Hopefully it sinks in and some understand a...
  13. alixossa98 reblogged this from bonniewilde
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  15. i--amdoingthebest-i-can reblogged this from nikkysatori92
  16. nikkysatori92 reblogged this from bonniewilde and added:
    Perfect explaination
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  21. bonniewilde reblogged this from boatsnhoeess and added:
    The awkward moment when my most successful post ever is about the period pains … obviously.
  22. boatsnhoeess reblogged this from bonniewilde
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  24. forgivingtoafault reblogged this from bonniewilde and added:
    This is one of the most grotesquely accurate depictions I’ve ever read.